Jargon Buster
Our industry is brimming with silly lingo and nonsense jargon.
Does your current agency bore you with any of this blagging, bragging or bulls***?

Brand Archetypes.
Psychobabbleüberprocess. Are you a hero, explorer, lover or creator? Do you care?

Brand Consultants.
A design agency that wishes to put its fees up.

Equity Analysis.
Stock market planning? Or reminding you of your logo and other important bits, again.

Ethnographics.
Research done by nosey 'ologists who look in people's bins for insights.

Futurescaping.
Did they predict the 2009 recession? No, didn't think so.

International Agency Network.
"Yes, of course we have an office in Shanghai. No, we'd rather not share our project with them."

Retail Safari.
The most expensive Supermarket Sweep you'll ever pay for.

Semiotics.
Paying someone to tell you that red = danger and that blue = corporate. Magic.

Strategic Brand Consulting.
Sounds expensive and it is. Involves very clever people filling your car park with Audi TT's.

Strategic Brand Visualisation.
A nice drawing either by hand or from a Apple Mac (see above).

™
Supposed to be an agency trademark process? Ask them for the registration documentation.

Visual Identity.
Mood boards with pictures.

Visual Planning.
Even more expensive mood boards with words.

"The Mac".
Something clients will never understand for it is the magic box that holds all the secrets. Be in awe.

ZZZZZ......
How you feel after trawling through all the agency credentials. Time to change.